Responding to a Disclosure of Sexual Violence

It takes a great deal of courage for someone who has experienced sexual violence to disclose their experiences to someone else.听

We know 鈥 from survivors, lived experience and research 鈥 that an听initial听supportive and non-judgmental response to a disclosure听of sexual violence听can make a significant difference on the听survivor鈥檚 desire and听ability to seek out further, ongoing听supports.听听

In other words, when survivors experience negative, victim-blaming, minimizing and/or dismissive responses听when听disclosing听their experiences for the first time,听their fears around not being believed and not being supported come true, and they often decide to remain silent.听听

Many survivors never talk about their experience with a counselor or other professional support; instead, they听seek someone they听trust and are听familiar with听鈥 a听friend, work colleague, residence don, teaching assistant, family member, and so on.听听听

You do not听need to be an expert at responding! And it is okay to be nervous!听听

Everyone on campus can:

  • Listen, and be supportive
  • Assure survivors that it was not their fault
  • Be non-judgmental about the survivor's reactions and decisions, during and after, their experience of violence
  • Explain what supports are available on campus and refer to the Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Office (SVPRO)

Everyone on campus should be prepared to respond to a disclosure. The more we keep practicing our response skills, the better and more comfortable we will be doing it.听听

The following information offers some best practices for responding to disclosures.

What is a disclosure? And how does it differ from a complaint or report?

There are many reasons why someone who has experienced sexual violence would disclose and these might include:听

  • seeking assistance or emotional support
  • seeking justice and accountability
  • wanting to raise awareness about sexual violence in the community
  • wanting to protect themselves or others from future violence

Disclosing does not automatically mean that a survivor needs to file a Complaint or Report.听听

Should someone wish to file a Complaint or Report, we recommend they听be connected with听SVPRO for further information.听

Best Practices for Responding to a Disclosure of Sexual Violence

responding_to_a_disclosure_best_practices.pdf
Best Practices for Responding to a Disclosure of Sexual Violence

Review our tips for Best Practices for Responding to a Disclosure of Sexual Violence below:

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Responding to a disclosure of Sexual Violence

Communicate the Limits of your Confidentiality

To whatever degree is听possible,听communicate your limits to confidentiality as soon as you听can听鈥 understanding that in many听cases, you will not听be anticipating a disclosure.听

It is听also听important to maintain as much confidentiality as possible after receiving a disclosure.听If none of the following limits apply, you do not need to share any information听disclosed.

Limits to Confidentiality Apply When:

1. An individual is at immediate risk of suicide

2. An identified individual is at immediate risk of harm

3.Campus safety may be compromised

4. A child or youth under the age of 16 has experienced or witnessed abuse

  • Consult with SVPRO or contact your local听

If you have any questions about your limits to confidentiality, please consult with SVPRO 鈥 you will not need to share any identifying information, unless any of the above 4 limits have arisen.听

You may also want and need to consult with your supervisor听to ensure you are following the protocols within your department or unit.听We encourage 鈥渟haring up, not out鈥 - meaning that you can share up the line of supervision or management, but not broadly with peers or colleagues.

Further information can be found within听Policy 42: Prevention of, and Response to, Sexual Violence

Confidentiality听for University of 蓝莓视频 Health Care Professionals and Police Services听

It is important to note that Regulated Health Care Professionals (e.g. doctors, nurses, social workers, psychiatrists, etc.) working on campus have Limits to Confidentiality to which they abide as directed by their Regulatory College or body.听

If you are:

  • A regulated Health Care Professional - please connect directly with your Regulatory College or body for information
  • The patient or client of a Regulated Health Care Professional on campus - please connect directly with your health care professional if you have questions about their limits to confidentiality

It is also important to note that University of 蓝莓视频 Police Services have Limits to Confidentiality to which they abide as Police Officers.听听For example, Campus Police are obligated to inform 蓝莓视频听Regional听Police of a Disclosure or Report of Sexual Violence that is brought to their attention, when intimate partner violence is occurring, there are public safety听concerns听or the matter relates to an ongoing charge or investigation.听

Please connect with听Police Services听or SVPRO if you have questions about disclosing or reporting to Campus Police.听听

Confidential Off-Campus Support

If someone听wants to speak to a confidential support off campus, we encourage you to听connect them with the听

Listen without Judgement

Do:

  • Listen
    • Use all of your best active listening skills
  • Provide space for them to control the pace and content of what they share
    • Survivors have experienced a loss of their power and control, and a violation of their autonomy - you can allow them to take some control back as they disclose
  • Validate their feelings
    • Recognize that survivors will experience a range of feelings, some of which may seem conflicting to what you anticipate. All their feelings and reactions are valid
  • Be empathetic
    • Acknowledge that survivors experience many fears, barriers and stigma: fear of not being believed;听fear they will be blamed or judged;听beliefs and encouragement to keep silent about anything connected to sex, sexual听violence, or mental health impacts; discrimination based on racism,听sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, classism,听religious intolerance such as听Islamaphobia, and more
  • Thank them for telling you
    • It takes a lot of courage to speak about such experiences. And they are demonstrating they trust you.听It can be听impactful听for you to acknowledge听both
  • Assure them it was not their fault
    • Nothing a survivor does or does not do justifies an act of sexual violence. But survivors have听internalized rape culture myths, and often believe it is their听fault and/or they should have done something differently.听It can be impactful to refocus on the actions听and behaviour听of the person who caused harm
  • Remind them that consent is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific
    • There are many myths about consent, and survivors have internalized these, believing that they should have been 鈥榤ore communicative鈥. It can be impactful to refocus on the actions of the person initiating sexual activity听and whether their behaviour met the definition of consent. Check out Planned Parenthood's helpful听
  • Ask how you can help and if they would like information about resources
    • Recognize that each person will need different resources and that they may not be ready to seek further support
  • Model consent
    • Survivors have experienced a violation of their boundaries. Be self-aware: do not touch without consent, be aware of personal space

Avoid:

  • Dismissing them
  • Minimizing their experiences
  • Asking or pressing for further details
  • Making decisions for them
  • Invalidating them or their feelings
  • Telling them they "should..."
  • Blaming them
  • Being racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, classist, albeist, Islamaphobic, etc.
  • Defending the person who has caused harm (even when it's difficult to believe that someone you care about or respect has caused harm)
  • Panicking or pulling the focus back to you or your reactions
  • Questioning the person who caused harm

Refer

We encourage you to refer听anyone impacted by sexual violence (directly, or as a bystander, responder, support person or person who has caused harm)听to SVPRO

We take direction from those impacted as to whether they wish to connect with us听now, in the future, or not at all.听Not everyone who discloses will want to speak with the SVPRO, and that is okay. It is important to us that our contact information is shared as an option available.

During regular campus business hours,听it is most feasible for people to book听appointments听with us via听email, though we can also be contacted听by phone, and we will听try to be as accommodating as possible.听

If you are听connecting with someone after regular business hours, a timely resource听you can refer them to is the听听24-hour, confidential听support line.

If you are听connecting with someone听in Ontario, but听outside of听the Kitchener-蓝莓视频 area, you can find their local 24-hour Sexual Assault Support Centre run听support line听on our听Crisis Support Services webpage.

Plan Ahead

You may be in the position where you and the person disclosing will see each other again on campus, and it can be helpful to agree on if, and how, you will interact when this happens.

Some survivors听may听prefer听to pretend听they have not had any in-depth discussions, some prefer that you both interact as if you know each other from something else (e.g. you are both on a committee together, or you听have only spoken about academic matters, and so forth), whereas some survivors feel comfortable sharing their experiences听of sexual violence and/or of seeking support.

Making an agreement for how you will relate to, or interact with, each other when you next see each other can reduce awkwardness and/or miscommunications later.听听

Debrief and Consult

It can be difficult to hear a disclosure, and to know that someone has experienced such harm.

The Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Office (SVPRO) is available to provide support and consultation with anyone on campus who has received a disclosure.听Connecting with us听after the disclosure听allows us to ensure that you are doing okay; to debrief the experience (there is no need to听disclose听the identity of the person who disclosed if they have not consented,听 and if the limits to confidentiality do not apply),听and to ensure any necessary safety planning and support has been provided. It also helps听give us a clearer understanding of the complex, overall听picture of sexual violence on campus.

You may want to connect with a trusted friend, family member, colleague or professional support after a disclosure.听Please do so听confidentially听鈥 not sharing any identifying information and avoiding disclosing (as much as possible) to anyone involved in same communities as either the survivor or听person who caused harm 鈥 in order to听maintain the safety of the survivor and听limit the spread of听information听the survivor did not want听shared.

The Sexual Assault Support Centre of 蓝莓视频 Region's听听are available for those who have received a disclosure, as is听Counseling Services听on campus (for students) and the听Employee Family Assistance Program听via Homewood (for employees).